The Brutal Truth - Why You’re Still Stuck on the Same Goal
When someone tells me they’ve been wanting to achieve something for years, the first question I ask is:
“What’s stopped you from achieving it before?”
It’s not about blame. And it’s rarely about laziness or lack of motivation. More often, it’s about what we’re still holding on to and what we might need to leave behind if we truly want to achieve it.
Why Goals Stay Out of Reach
Achieving a goal is rarely just about adding something new. More often, it’s about letting something go. To step into a new chapter, you have to leave behind the habits, beliefs, or identities that belong to the old one.
That might mean:
Letting go of the belief that you have to do everything alone.
Releasing the idea that you’re not “ready” yet.
Loosening your grip on a familiar comfort zone that no longer fits.
Even the things that hold us back have often kept us safe, comfortable, or successful in the past. It’s no wonder change feels so hard.
Finding What Really Matters
One of the most powerful ways to understand why a goal feels stuck is to reconnect with your top five values - the things that matter most to you. I often use value cards with clients to help them uncover what really matters. It can be surprising when we discover that one or two of their values completely contradict the ultimate goal they’ve been chasing for years - the one they’ve never quite achieved. For example:
Career: You might set a goal to climb the career ladder, but if you deeply value freedom, the long hours will never feel like success.
Money: You might aim to earn significantly more, but if you value balance, the sacrifices needed may always feel too heavy.
Business: You might dream of growing a bigger business, but if you value family time, that goal will always feel in tension unless it allows space at home too.
Image: You might set a goal around changing how you look - changing your body shape, being more polished or put-together - but if you deeply value authenticity, trying to maintain that “ideal” will always feel out of step. What you may really want is to feel at ease being yourself, not to fit someone else’s standard.
When your goals don’t reflect your values, it’s like trying to walk north while your inner compass points south. You’ll feel resistance every step of the way.
The Questions That Change Everything
Instead of asking “Why haven’t I done this yet?” a more powerful set of questions might be:
“What would I have to let go of in order to move towards this goal?”
“Does this goal reflect what I value most?”
Sometimes the answer is yes.. and the work is to release an old belief, habit, or identity that no longer serves you.
And sometimes the answer is no… and that can be freeing, giving you permission to choose a goal that truly fits who you are today.
Moving Forward, Gently
Change doesn’t happen all at once. It begins with small, gentle shifts:
Saying no to something that drains your energy.
Asking for help instead of pushing through alone.
Choosing a path that feels lighter, even if it looks unconventional.
Each small step is like putting down a heavy bag you’ve carried for too long. With every release, you create more space for what you really want.
An Invitation
So if there’s a goal that’s been on your heart for years, maybe the invitation isn’t to push harder.
Maybe it’s to pause and ask yourself: “What am I willing to leave behind, so I can finally move forward?”
If you’d like to explore your goals and values, get in touch for a free chemistry call.